Monday, March 30, 2015

0. The Manifesto

(Before we get started, I feel I should note that this blog is a sequel to my other blog, Taste My Sad, which accounts for the weird and kinda gross title. Sorry.)

In theory, I think that everyone should listen to one another, everyone should respect one another’s opinions, and everyone should take one another at their word, because if everyone did these things, the world would be a better place.

I am going to test this theory. Here’s how:

  1. You, a person who is reading this blog, will comment on this post with a recommendation of a movie for me to watch.
  2. If you are the first person to comment, I will watch whatever movie you recommend.
  3. I will then write a blog post about that movie.
  4. Repeat steps 1 through 3.

You are welcome to recommend to me literally any movie you want. It can be a great movie that will change my life in the Zach Braff/The Shins sense. It can be utter trash that will change my life in the me/Garden State sense. It can be a movie of any genre, any age, any length. It can be a movie I have never seen before, or a movie I’ve seen a hundred times. I am bound to watch the movie that you recommend and to write about it, no matter what it is. It'll be like that movie Yes Man with Jim Carrey, except hopefully not quite as unloved.

(The only exception to my rule that I can think of at the moment is if I am unable to obtain the movie. I am armed with Netflix [with the DVD plan!], Amazon Prime, and a library card, so I’ll probably be able to find anything that’s not too obscure. If the movie you recommend is out in theaters, try to make it something that’s playing in the Washington, DC metropolitan area, and also pls send $20 for a movie ticket + Milk Duds, thx.)

In order to give yourself a good chance to be able to recommend my next movie, you should constantly refresh this blog all day, every day. You may need to quit your job, just to be safe. Or I guess you could just add it to your Feedly and/or stay tuned to my Twitter/Facebook, as I will update both as soon as each post goes up. (That’s a little thing called effective social media marketing.) 

Blogger allows for anonymous comments, but I think it'll be more fun if you tell me who you are when you comment. Plus, I don’t want one person to hog all the recommendations, so each of you only get one recommendation per… I don’t know, some period of time to be determined. Honor system, folks. We’ll figure it out. (And yes, I am aware of the possibility that this blog’s readership will not exceed one person, but shut up.)

One other thing that just occurred to me: Be as specific as you can with your recommendations. For example, if you merely write the word “Twilight,” I am fully within my rights to watch the 1998 Paul Newman film, rather than the far-more-famous 2008 teen vampire romp. If you write “Notorious” with the intention that I watch the 1946 Alfred Hitchcock classic, I will likely watch the 2009 Biggie Smalls biopic for the second time. Include a Wikipedia or IMDb link if you want. Go nuts. 

OK. Let's do this. This is a precious opportunity for you guys. So rarely in life will you have such complete control over another person's actions. You get to decide my queue! Taste it, y'all. 

I look forward to taking this journey with you. I trust you won't lead me astray. 

What's next?

UPDATE: Displaying the same insane buzzer speed that helped him destroy me during the 2011 Jeopardy! Tournament of Champions, the great Joon Pahk gets in first, recommending the film Top Secret! HERE WE GO.